Tuesday, November 22, 2016

What I want to hear from Donald Trump



Given all the things that have happened in the past couple of weeks, I have some things on my mind. Mostly about Donald Trump’s silence on the hatred being spewed across this nation in his name.

Mr. Trump, here’s what I want to hear from you. Not in a written statement. Not through one of your surrogate proxies. Straight from your oddly-shaped mouth speaking to the American people. Speaking to ME.

I want to hear you personally denounce the neo-Nazism, racism, antisemitism, Islamophobia, and white nationalism that has spread so boldly across the nation since your campaign started, and that has grown more zealous since your election.

I want to hear you say that painting swastikas anywhere is wrong.
I want to hear you say that raising the Nazi salute and yelling Heil Trump is wrong.
I want to hear you say that questioning whether Jews are really people is wrong.
I want to hear you say that ripping the hijab off of women and yelling slurs and telling them to get out of America is wrong.
I want to hear you say that schoolchildren shouldn’t be subjected to hatred from their classmates telling them they will be deported, or be called nigger by their teacher.
I want to hear you say that you don't want the support of the KKK or Nazis or white supremacists.
I want to hear you say that threatening to rape women is wrong.
I want to hear you say that spewing hatred at your fellow Americans in the street is wrong.
I want to hear you say that torturing human beings is wrong.
I want to hear you say that fear through intimidation is wrong.
I want to hear you say that the media has a duty to report when hate crimes are committed.
I want to hear you say that yes, Obergfell is the law of the land, but Roe is as well.
I want to hear that you understand why so many Americans are fearful, terrified, anxious, scared for their very lives.

I want to hear you say that your cabinet will not reflect all of the above things that are happening in America. Like the racism & antisemitism from Steve Bannon. Like the racism and anti-immigration rhetoric from Jeff Sessions. Like the Islamophobia and hatred from Michael Flynn. And so many more.

I want to hear you say that you don’t approve of any of this being done in your name, or even at all.

You say that you want to be President for ALL Americans. So far, your actions don’t reflect this. I know it’s cliché and all, but actions speak louder than words.

I want you to act like an American President.

Hell, I just want you to act like an American.




Thursday, November 10, 2016

Check your privilege at the door please

One of the themes that has started to emerge after Tuesday's horrible election is the idea of "It won't be so bad. The Pres doesn't have that much power. The world isn't going to end. Why are you all freaking out?"

These comments that I've seen are mostly being made by white men. I noted yesterday how difficult it was to explain to my husband about how I dread having a president who views me as "less than", and how difficult it is for white men to fully understand this concept, no matter how much they may sympathize.

And I'm well aware that there are so very many groups who have been far more marginalized than I, but that doesn't invalidate my own feelings. And while I will likely never fully feel the negativity that so many of these groups face on a daily basis, I can certainly understand it and call out behaviors that marginalize them even more - intentional or not.

It was in this spirit that I did something I rarely do. I engaged a friend on social media when he pulled the "It won't be so bad, the Pres doesn't have that much power, really" crap.

I won't quote his entire post, but it was quite lengthy and intellectually very accurate in listing all the reasons and things that generally hold a President in check. The post ended with this:

The bottom line: I am not happy with the result. But despite the focus on the election, the federal government is limited, the President can only do so much within that limited federal government, and Trump did not win the popular vote. There are all sorts of good reasons to think the real damage he could do is limited.

Caveat: I am not saying the result in this election is good (it is not) or that Trump cannot do harm (he can). I am simply saying that this is bad news, but the world is not coming to an end and there is plenty that we and others can do.

Again, factually accurate. Although the point about not winning the popular vote doesn't matter in the slightest. If you need a specific example, I present George W. Bush. Moving on.

No matter how accurate your assessment, it's very easy to look at this from the vantage point of a white man. Very few of the things that Trump advocated for during the election will affect a white middle class man. I countered with something along these lines.

From your position as a white man, your words are well said. The problem comes for the rest of America who don't have the same privilege. Because of a majority in the House & Senate, plus the WH, and likely the SCOTUS, so many of the freedoms we enjoy are threatened. It is hard for white men to fully grasp the concept of being viewed as "less than", and I'm not trying to be an asshole when I say that. But the fact is that aside from a few inconveniences, you may not be personally affected.

White men are rarely personally affected by Supreme Court cases that affect personal liberties and freedoms. This is not just about Trump, but everything that surrounds him, including Congress, his cabinet, & his future SCOTUS picks. We know at least 1 vacancy will be filled, and the potential for 1 or 2 more may arise. To so many marginalized people, that is terrifying, and very may well signal the end of life as they know it.
The response was again, very intellectual and ended with this:
I made a more general argument about the non-governmental aspects of our lives, federalism, the role of the President in domestic and foreign policy, internal checks on both his power and his stupidity, and the role of the American people in all this. .Agree, disagree, or ignore me. But it is not about white male privilege. I don't know why the argument has to be made subjective....

I admit I am selectively editing the response, because I want to highlight again that although his thoughts are intellectually correct and very spot on, they fail to take into account two major things.

First, yes it's true that there is not a lot, historically, that a limited federal government can do. However, our limited federal government over the last 8 years has held a rampantly bigoted, prejudice, classist, racist, homophobic, xenophobic set of red state governments in check. We're insulated to much of this in California. But so much of the country is already fighting these battles on a daily basis. And President Obama's federal government has held much of this in check through the Justice department. Trump has already threatened literally millions of Americans. A Trump Justice Department that sides with these red states will surely not hold them back from implementing so much of their agenda.

And secondly, on the subject of why the argument has to be made subjective:

It's subjective because human emotions aren't objective. They depend on the human experience.

And no offense, but a white man's human experience isn't the same as a child who has been told they have to leave their country or that their parents will be deported and they'll be parentless and too bad for you, or a child in school who is bullied by classmates that gleefully tell him he's going to be kicked out of the country, or a woman who has had her hijab pulled off and is spit upon and called a whore, or a black man who knows that the man who will be President embraced endorsements by the grand wizard of the KKK and by white supremacy groups, or millions of Muslims who fear for their lives and the outlaw of their religion, or a woman who now must understand that their president-elect believes men have the right to assault women whenever the mood strikes because he's rich and that if a woman doesn't like being sexually harassed she should just find another job, or an LGBTQ person who the VP and Congress have said should not have equal rights and will actively work to suppress and revoke those rights, or a journalist who has been threatened with jail because you publish something that the President doesn't like.

None of those things directly affect straight white men.

Yes, there are plenty of things that might or might not happen, and we'll have to wait and see. So much will depend upon the cases that come before a (likely, now) conservative leaning SCOTUS and how willing they are to balance law and ideology. Or how much of Trump's rhetoric he actually believes and how much was said to get elected. His choices for cabinet members suggest he truly believes his rhetoric.

But all of these issues beget emotions brought on by the human experience.

And the emotions brought on by human experience are valid.

And yes, they are subjective.

And the inability to acknowledge that is mired in the privilege of being a straight white man.

I'm not angry with white men, but I do wish they could see and acknowledge their privilege in not being personally individually affected by much of this, and understand why some people believe that yes, the world - their world - may indeed end.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

You willfully elected Trump. Don't talk about how Hillary lost.

Continuing my day of grief and anger...

For me, the issue isn't that Hillary Clinton lost. Ok, it is, but hear me out. The issue is more that Trump won.

Trump won because half the people in this country voted FOR what he stands for.

You can claim all you want that you voted against Hillary. But you had to know that a vote against Hillary is a vote FOR Trump. FOR hatred. FOR divisiveness. FOR racism. FOR misogyny. FOR intolerance. FOR anger. FOR antisemitism. FOR white supremacy.

You willfully voted FOR a man who believes you, or any woman or girl you know, does not have a right to her own autonomy. To consent to sex, or for her reproductive rights.

You willfully voted FOR a man who mocks the disabled.

You willfully voted FOR a man who condones, and even gleefully incites, violence against his fellow citizens.

You willfully voted FOR a man who cheats on his wives.

You willfully voted FOR a man who stokes racism.

You willfully voted FOR a man who disparages our military and our military heroes.

You willfully voted FOR a man who has promised to extort our allies.

You willfully voted FOR a man who very likely worked with Russia to undermine our elections.

You willfully voted FOR a man who lies.

You willfully voted FOR a man who cheats his employees.

You willfully voted FOR a man who refuses to pay his contractual obligations and then threatens to tie those people up in court to bankrupt them in their attempts to get paid.

You willfully voted FOR a man who lies about donating to those in need.

You willfully voted FOR a man who exploits our differences to create disharmony.

You willfully voted FOR a man who denies scientific fact.

You willfully voted FOR a man who refused to accept any precedent or standard of conduct for a national candidate.

Many, if not most, of you did so while at the same time talking about praising Jesus. And bragging about what a great Christian you are.

Don't tell me you voted against Hillary. Don't tell me what a great Christian you are.

Like the man you willfully voted in, you are a liar.


Election reflections

I guess it's time to resurrect ye olde blog. We have work to do. But first, I need to reflect on what this all means.

For those of you who say you believe the majority of Americans are good, decent people... I believed that too.

Until last night.

When the majority of our country willfully and deliberately chose hatred over love. Bigotry over tolerance. Racism over equality. Anger over understanding. Assault over consent. Religious intolerance over loving inclusion. Conceit and arrogance over human decency. Insanity over Constitutional rule.

Donald Trump says he want to heal us and be a President for us all. He said "I won't let you down." He's got a lot of work to do for me to believe that. And while I'd like to believe he'll do the right thing, I lost my faith in America last night to do the good and decent thing.

The hypocrisy of calling Hillary Clinton a liar but saying that Trump didn't really mean his lies. The hypocrisy of calling Hillary Clinton an elitist even though she's worked her entire life to make things better for those with less, but not acknowledging that Trump is a billionaire who hasn't lifted a finger for anyone other than himself. The hypocrisy of the media, who spent last night desperately looking for a reason for this outcome without acknowledging their complicity in vilifying Clinton and normalizing Trump. The hypocrisy of holding Clinton to an unattainable standard while not holding Trump to even the most basic of standards.

Although I still want to, sadly I no longer believe the majority of Americans are good, decent people.

I enthusiastically supported Hillary Clinton. I have never viewed her as the lesser of 2 evils. She is highly qualified. She is well respected around the world. She is stable. She has spent her life in public service. And yes, she's a woman. A woman who gets shit done. Who knows how to do her job, but is now just another women who is more qualified but passed over for a man who doesn't have any qualifications other than a dick.

I need to sort through my own feelings of having a President & a government who views me as less than. Then I'll be able to deal with the "I told you sos" from all of the other folks whom I KNOW have felt this their whole lives. My Black, Latino, Muslim, disabled and LGBTQ friends. And so many more.

As a white person, I'm well aware of my privilege. And that so many of my friends, colleagues, and fellow Americans have felt like I'm feeling right now and have known this reality forever.

Now, as a woman and a Jew, I truly understand that feeling.

Last night, America embraced a racist, homophobic, xenophobic, misogynist who had the support of every hate group, including the KKK, neo-Nazis and white supremacists. Who has the support of world leaders whom we as Americans typically view as enemies - Russia and North Korea.

He also had the overwhelming support of evangelicals - and this is a man who clearly is not religious, doesn't understand the Bible or any of its major principles.

How those evangelicals can reconcile themselves to the fact they shared the same beliefs as the KKK, neo-Nazis, and white supremacists is beyond me. How they reconcile themselves that they chose a man who embraces hatred and fear over love is beyond me. How they chose a man who has unrepentantly and gleefully cheated on 2 wives is beyond me.  A man who calls for the expulsion of immigrants while parading his immigrant wife around. A man who lies without remorse. As they like to say, I guess their day of reckoning will come.

I tried to explain this to my husband last night. What it feels like to be considered less than. It's hard for a white man to truly get what that means. No matter how much he wants to. The feeling of utter despondency. Knowing that the majority of America willfully & deliberately chose someone who wants to take away your rights as an American citizen. As a woman. As a Jew. I just can't.

To my family and friends who voted for Trump: I see all these statements floating around about how politics shouldn't get in the way of relationships, and I believe that. We've held different political beliefs for a very long time, and have always managed a warm, loving relationship. Because politics don't matter over family.

But this isn't politics. This is world view. This is about decency over indecency. Humanity over inhumanity. Laughingly calling for a diligent public servant to be killed, jailed, or otherwise tortured.  The glee with which you celebrate the hatred and divisiveness. It's not ok. And it says far more about you and your character than do your politics. You preach love and Jesus and all that bullshit, but last night you deliberately voted for racism. For hatred. For misogyny. For anger and hostility. You deliberately voted for someone who wants me to be and believes me to be less than. And that is what I cannot and will not forgive.

I am going to continue working my ass off to get these hateful people out of our government. I'm going to work for 2018. And then for 2020. I am compelled to do so.

But I do it without the belief I had yesterday that most Americans are decent human beings.

Today, that belief is gone.