Today I once again find myself the day after the election needing to express my anger. Next time, I will recognize those who fight daily for justice. Those who put in the work. Walk the walk. But for today, I need to vent. Because this shouldn't have been close. This should have been a complete repudiation not just of trump and his misplaced values, but of his biggest enablers in the downfall of our democracy. McConnell, Graham, and so many others.
Although it looks like Biden will be our next president - thank god - I will not forgive and certainly will not forget the people in my sphere - especially family and (former) friends - that gladly voted to keep this terrible regression, division, lawlessness, hate, selfishness, and fear in our world. That not just voted in favor of it, but celebrated it. I see you, and my opinion of you has been changed forever.
To say I'm disappointed in you is a massive understatement. Your inability to see beyond yourself and support the same good fortune that you have received for others is reprehensible. You should feel ashamed every time you walk into your church and pat yourself on the back as you preen about your pious, hypocritical Christianity. Every time you revel in your privilege while you blindly and purposefully denigrate those who do not share in it. Every time you recoil in fake horror at the mention of the Holocaust. Because I see you. I know what you would have done as my family was dragged to the death camps and gassed. I know what you would have done as Emmitt Till was dragged to a tree and hanged. You would have checked your bank account, given a happy and relieved little smile, and done absolutely nothing.
I'm not ashamed to pray that you get your comeuppance. I am not as big a person as I'd like to be, or at least as some people may think I should be. I am a Jewish woman. I know how to carry a grudge. And believe me, I will carry this one for a very, very long time.
Four years ago, you voted in the hopes that he would dismantle our democracy in the name of white supremacy. This year, you voted with the knowledge that he did, and with the obvious hope that he would finish the job.
I hope that your pretend belief in a vengeful god will bite you in the ass. That all the times you thought to violate or refuse to acknowledge the humanity of your fellow people will result in your journey to the hell you believe in. That choosing not to feed the hungry, heal the sick, free the captives, love the stranger leaves you alone and bitter. Yes, I am that vengeful and vindictive. Today.
I hope that you find yourself living with the fear of losing your rights. No, not letting others have the same rights, but actually losing yours. I hope you know what it is to not have autonomy over decisions about your own body. To fear every encounter with law enforcement. To be told that people of your entire faith should be put down like dogs. To know that there are others who fight every day for your voice and your vote to be suppressed. Yes, I am that petty. Today.
For while I am vengeful, vindictive, and petty today, you sadly live a life that glorifies pettiness, vindictiveness, and vengeance every day.
And yes, I am indeed talking about those of you who out and proud fly the flag of hate above the flag of country on your cars and your homes. But more specifically, I am talking about the insidious quiet ones who preach love in their church and practice hate out of it. Those who pretend conciliation but get in the privacy of the voting booth and do just the opposite.
Because that shows me that you know that what you are doing is wrong. And that is why I will never forgive you.