My own pro-choice story: my mother's choice resulted in, well, me

Every woman should have the choice to carry a pregnancy to term or to terminate it. I fully support both choices. Key word being choice.

How has choice affected my life? That's an easy one. My mother chose to have me. Let me explain.

In 1966, when she was pregnant with me, my mother was exposed to Rubella (German measles). Back then, there was no prenatal testing. Ultrasound was just being introduced. There were no definitive tests. The vaccine had only been around for a few years. What came out at the end was what you got.

Up to 90 percent of infants born to mothers who had rubella during the first 11 weeks of pregnancy develop congenital rubella syndrome. This can cause one or more problems, including:

- Growth retardation
- Cataracts
- Deafness
- Congenital heart defects
- Defects in other organs
- Mental retardation
(source: Mayo Clinic)

Still, although abortion was illegal (Roe v Wade wouldn't be decided until I was 7), my mother had choices, because my grandfather was an OB. He knew people who could give my mom a safe abortion. And actually begged her to have one. He was terrified I'd be born missing limbs, with serious deformities, and with mental retardation (as it was called back then). Because he was an OB, the list above was very familiar to him. Knowledge can be a very scary thing. But knowledge also gives us power. The power to make good decisions.

My mom considered his request and decided to have me anyway. A good decision, of course, because otherwise you all would have missed out on, well, me! Heh.

My mom's uterus calcified when she was pregnant, and I had to live off my own body fat for likely the last 2 months of her pregnancy. I was born with a severe hearing loss in one ear. One that wasn't even diagnosed until I was screened by the audiologist in 1st grade. Back when they, you know, screened kids in the schools for vision and hearing.

We were all incredibly fortunate. And I say all, because it's not just me who was lucky, although I certainly count myself in that club. But my parents were saved the emotional toll and the cost of raising a child with major problems. My siblings were spared the stress of having a sibling who required much more of their parents attention. My grandfather was saved the stress of knowing he could have tried harder to convince my mom to abort me. And I was fortunate that I didn't have more severe problems.

How was I not diagnosed earlier? Well, thankfully it was only one ear. I instinctively compensated by learning to turn my good ear to the speaker. By lipreading. Is it still an issue for me? Oh yes. My sensori-neural loss can't be treated well with hearing aids now, and as a child it couldn't be treated at all. My dream was to be a professional musician. I was a flute performance major in college. But I quickly determined that at that level, my hearing loss was a huge issue that would keep me from being able to perform in professional orchestras. Do I still use the same compensation techniques that I learned as a child? Oh yes. Do I have difficulty in certain situations? Oh yes. Put me in a crowded room, and all you'll get from me is nods and smiles. Because I have absolutely no idea what is being discussed unless I'm looking you right in the face. Put me in a room with someone speaking into a microphone, and unless I'm in the front row and can lipread, I'm lost. Is it a huge issue in my life? Not really anymore. It actually never was.

Am I glad that my grandfather gave my mom the information she needed to make an informed choice? You bet. Am I glad my mother had that choice, even when others did not? You bet. Am I glad she made the choice she did? You bet.

The issue isn't that I came out healthy (deafness aside), without serious complications, so that would have made an abortion 'wrong'. The issue is that my parents were able to know what might happen, and weigh their ability to manage and handle all that comes with the possibility of a child like that, and to prepare for that eventuality. If I was born with major birth defects, would they still be glad to have me? Of course. But had they made the decision that it was too risky, and the choice to terminate the pregnancy, would I have ever known the difference? Of course not.

My husband would have met a wonderful girl and married her and had wonderful children. Without ever knowing that he was missing out on me. Am I glad that didn't happen and that we met, got married, and have the 2 most amazing children ever put on this earth? You bet. But would I have missed out on him and them had my mom made a different choice? No.

None of this is to say that I think my mom should have aborted me. But the idea that she had a choice that other women are now being denied infuriates me. Shouldn't every woman have the knowledge she needs to make an informed decision? Shouldn't every woman have the choice to discuss her options? Shouldn't every woman be armed with the knowledge that comes from prenatal testing so that she can weigh her options carefully?

I admire my mother for making the brave choice she did in a time when she was given the options that most other women did not have. I admire her for standing up to her father and making her own decisions. I admire my father for backing her up in her choice. And I admire my grandfather for giving her the options that so many women then and now are denied.

None of that changes the fact that I'm so grateful she had the choice.