Jewish kids encounter anti-semitism at different times in their lives, but I've found that middle school is often when it first rears its ugly head. Both of my boys first encountered antisemitism at that age. It breaks my heart that they had to learn about such an awful thing personally, rather than in their history books.
I begin with a reprint of a post from my personal blog (intentionally not linked, for privacy). This is from June 7, 2010.
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Helen Thomas can't beat us down. A 13 year old proves it. (originally published 6-7-2010)
I have been totally out of the news loop all weekend because of the bar mitzvah. I logged in today, and what did I find? Helen Thomas, a woman I've admired in the past for her tenacity, for leading the way for women journalists, for what I thought was her journalistic integrity, making incredibly anti-semitic remarks.
Given that we just dealt with anti-semitism at home (look to the bottom of this article for the reference), this not only appalls me, but just makes me incredibly sad and deflates me. She took the glow off of a wonderful weekend celebrating my family's Judaism.
[The only edits I have made are to delete specific names and our town's name.]
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Shabbat Shalom. Welcome to Everyone. Thank you for coming to celebrate my bar mitzvah with me. This morning's torah portion is called Shelach L'cha from the book of Numbers. It is about what happened to the Jews after they got out of Egypt. Picture this: The Israelites were standing on the edge of the Jordan River, looking over at the land of Canaan. Moses sent in twelve spies to find out if the Jewish people could live in the Promised Land. After searching Canaan thoroughly, the spies came back and had interesting news for Moses. Ten of the twelve spies thought that it was impossible and that even with help from God the Israelites would be crushed. Two of them thought just the opposite. They said that they could take them and that with help from God there was no way they could possibly be defeated. So, as most people do, they went by majority vote and didn't go into the land of Canaan. This story carries over into the haftarah portion. This portion is about when Joshua, one of the original spies who thought positively, sent two spies to the land of Jericho. The reason he sent in only two was because only two of the spies Moses sent in said that they could win. These spies were different from the spies that Moses sent because they had two things that most of the other spies didn't. 1. They had help from a woman named Rachab. 2. They had faith in God. After staying on Rachab's roof for a while and watching, they came back to Joshua and thought like Joshua did. They said that the Israelites could win and conquer the land of Jericho. So, according to majority, the Israelites went in and they won. They were now living in the Promised Land after wandering in the desert for forty years.
From this we learn that faith in God and in yourself can make a HUGE difference in the way we think, act, and feel. A great example of this is the children's book "The Little Engine That Could". This story is about a small train that wanted to go up a hill. All of the other trains said "you can’t do it" but the little train engine kept saying "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can" because he believed in himself. Another great example of this concept is what you’ve all just witnessed. I had to have faith in myself to believe that I could learn all this Hebrew, plus an additional torah portion, PLUS the Ashrei, which Mrs. xxxx gave me only two weeks before my bar mitzvah.
Being Jewish is important to me and my family because I would like the people who have survived for almost 4,000 years to live on for thousands and thousands of years to come. Also, I would like to teach my children and my children's children to read and study torah, and to hopefully live long enough to see them give a speech just like this one at their Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Plus, it's just fun to come to temple and to see all of the congregation, and friends and family.
To me becoming a bar mitzvah means diving into the world as a Jewish adult and to finally be considered one. Also this is one of the only times I can look my brother in the eye and say "I did something that you did! And I probably did it better!" I really hope that becoming an adult means that people will treat me with more respect.
As a Jewish adult I will continue to come to temple, read and study torah and try and find ways to improve myself as a Jew. Also I will continue on and go to Judaica High to greatly widen my Jewish knowledge.
For my mitzvah project, I chose to feed the hungry of [our town]. I chose to do this because Food and I, we just go together great! I wanted everyone to feel the awesomeness of a good meal. With help from some friends, we gave an amazing meal of turkey, yams, mashed potatoes, and much more to those who couldn't afford a Thanksgiving meal. Don't worry, if I’m making you hungry, the reception is almost here so don't hassle me for food! Also, during the High Holidays, I asked the congregation to bring in bags of canned food for the group, SOVA. SOVA is a food cabinet that supplies food for Los Angeles and [our town]. [ed. note: SOVA is a food pantry operated by Jewish Family Services. They do NOT discriminate as to whom they give their food]
In Hebrew, the words Todah Rabbah mean thank you. I would like to say Todah Rabbah to the Rabbi for not only helping me learn Hebrew for 6 or 7 years, but for being positive and for always encouraging me to do my best. And you know what? It really helped, Thank you. I would also like to thank the Cantor for all of his Jewlarious jokes and for his beautiful music. I would like to thank Mrs. xxxxx for all of her help and support, and for pretty much being my teacher and guidance counselor since kindergarten. And thanks to M for tutoring me and making me repeat every line of every prayer a bunch of times, because that really helped me get them down. I would also like to thank E, J, and the rest of their Girl Scout troop for helping me serve the homeless at the Thanksgiving dinner. Next I would like to thank my friends for always being there and supporting me. And for making me laugh when I bring my Hebrew stuff to school and you try to read it! Next, I would like to thank my father for helping me prepare my nerves for this occasion and for helping me with my Hebrew. Or at least pretending to. I would also like to thank my mother for pushing me to do things even if I'm scared because most of the time, I tend to like what I'm doing. Last and most, I would like to thank my brother. Dude, I know we fight and call each other names, and throw stuff at each other, and are mean to each other and so on and so forth, but you're my brother and I love you. You are probably the biggest inspiration of my life and are a hell of a friend. Thank you for being the brother that you are. I love you, man.
Thank you all and Shabbat shalom!
Take THAT, Helen Thomas. You can't beat down a people who refuse to be beaten down.
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The "anti-semitism at home" remark above refers to the following from a post in May 2010, as we were sending out invitations for the above bar mitzvah.
My son is having his bar mitzvah next month. He invited loads of friends. He came home today and told me that the father of one of his friends ripped up the invitation and won't let her come. Because Youngest is Jewish. This is a girl whose house he has been to numerous times, who has been to our home tons of times, who he has hung out with since 5th grade. She's his good friend. I think this is likely Youngest's first real, personal brush with anti-semitism. I want to be able to tell him that we don't accept this kind of behavior in general in the US, but now I'd be a liar.
Shabbat Shalom. Welcome to Everyone. Thank you for coming to celebrate my bar mitzvah with me. This morning's torah portion is called Shelach L'cha from the book of Numbers. It is about what happened to the Jews after they got out of Egypt. Picture this: The Israelites were standing on the edge of the Jordan River, looking over at the land of Canaan. Moses sent in twelve spies to find out if the Jewish people could live in the Promised Land. After searching Canaan thoroughly, the spies came back and had interesting news for Moses. Ten of the twelve spies thought that it was impossible and that even with help from God the Israelites would be crushed. Two of them thought just the opposite. They said that they could take them and that with help from God there was no way they could possibly be defeated. So, as most people do, they went by majority vote and didn't go into the land of Canaan. This story carries over into the haftarah portion. This portion is about when Joshua, one of the original spies who thought positively, sent two spies to the land of Jericho. The reason he sent in only two was because only two of the spies Moses sent in said that they could win. These spies were different from the spies that Moses sent because they had two things that most of the other spies didn't. 1. They had help from a woman named Rachab. 2. They had faith in God. After staying on Rachab's roof for a while and watching, they came back to Joshua and thought like Joshua did. They said that the Israelites could win and conquer the land of Jericho. So, according to majority, the Israelites went in and they won. They were now living in the Promised Land after wandering in the desert for forty years.
From this we learn that faith in God and in yourself can make a HUGE difference in the way we think, act, and feel. A great example of this is the children's book "The Little Engine That Could". This story is about a small train that wanted to go up a hill. All of the other trains said "you can’t do it" but the little train engine kept saying "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can" because he believed in himself. Another great example of this concept is what you’ve all just witnessed. I had to have faith in myself to believe that I could learn all this Hebrew, plus an additional torah portion, PLUS the Ashrei, which Mrs. xxxx gave me only two weeks before my bar mitzvah.
Being Jewish is important to me and my family because I would like the people who have survived for almost 4,000 years to live on for thousands and thousands of years to come. Also, I would like to teach my children and my children's children to read and study torah, and to hopefully live long enough to see them give a speech just like this one at their Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Plus, it's just fun to come to temple and to see all of the congregation, and friends and family.
To me becoming a bar mitzvah means diving into the world as a Jewish adult and to finally be considered one. Also this is one of the only times I can look my brother in the eye and say "I did something that you did! And I probably did it better!" I really hope that becoming an adult means that people will treat me with more respect.
As a Jewish adult I will continue to come to temple, read and study torah and try and find ways to improve myself as a Jew. Also I will continue on and go to Judaica High to greatly widen my Jewish knowledge.
For my mitzvah project, I chose to feed the hungry of [our town]. I chose to do this because Food and I, we just go together great! I wanted everyone to feel the awesomeness of a good meal. With help from some friends, we gave an amazing meal of turkey, yams, mashed potatoes, and much more to those who couldn't afford a Thanksgiving meal. Don't worry, if I’m making you hungry, the reception is almost here so don't hassle me for food! Also, during the High Holidays, I asked the congregation to bring in bags of canned food for the group, SOVA. SOVA is a food cabinet that supplies food for Los Angeles and [our town]. [ed. note: SOVA is a food pantry operated by Jewish Family Services. They do NOT discriminate as to whom they give their food]
In Hebrew, the words Todah Rabbah mean thank you. I would like to say Todah Rabbah to the Rabbi for not only helping me learn Hebrew for 6 or 7 years, but for being positive and for always encouraging me to do my best. And you know what? It really helped, Thank you. I would also like to thank the Cantor for all of his Jewlarious jokes and for his beautiful music. I would like to thank Mrs. xxxxx for all of her help and support, and for pretty much being my teacher and guidance counselor since kindergarten. And thanks to M for tutoring me and making me repeat every line of every prayer a bunch of times, because that really helped me get them down. I would also like to thank E, J, and the rest of their Girl Scout troop for helping me serve the homeless at the Thanksgiving dinner. Next I would like to thank my friends for always being there and supporting me. And for making me laugh when I bring my Hebrew stuff to school and you try to read it! Next, I would like to thank my father for helping me prepare my nerves for this occasion and for helping me with my Hebrew. Or at least pretending to. I would also like to thank my mother for pushing me to do things even if I'm scared because most of the time, I tend to like what I'm doing. Last and most, I would like to thank my brother. Dude, I know we fight and call each other names, and throw stuff at each other, and are mean to each other and so on and so forth, but you're my brother and I love you. You are probably the biggest inspiration of my life and are a hell of a friend. Thank you for being the brother that you are. I love you, man.
Thank you all and Shabbat shalom!
Take THAT, Helen Thomas. You can't beat down a people who refuse to be beaten down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The "anti-semitism at home" remark above refers to the following from a post in May 2010, as we were sending out invitations for the above bar mitzvah.
My son is having his bar mitzvah next month. He invited loads of friends. He came home today and told me that the father of one of his friends ripped up the invitation and won't let her come. Because Youngest is Jewish. This is a girl whose house he has been to numerous times, who has been to our home tons of times, who he has hung out with since 5th grade. She's his good friend. I think this is likely Youngest's first real, personal brush with anti-semitism. I want to be able to tell him that we don't accept this kind of behavior in general in the US, but now I'd be a liar.
