Hey, you. Yes, you. I see you. And I do not forgive you.

Today I once again find myself the day after the election needing to express my anger. Next time, I will recognize those who fight daily for justice. Those who put in the work. Walk the walk. But for today, I need to vent. Because this shouldn't have been close. This should have been a complete repudiation not just of trump and his misplaced values, but of his biggest enablers in the downfall of our democracy. McConnell, Graham, and so many others.

Although it looks like Biden will be our next president - thank god - I will not forgive and certainly will not forget the people in my sphere - especially family and (former) friends - that gladly voted to keep this terrible regression, division, lawlessness, hate, selfishness, and fear in our world. That not just voted in favor of it, but celebrated it. I see you, and my opinion of you has been changed forever.

To say I'm disappointed in you is a massive understatement. Your inability to see beyond yourself and support the same good fortune that you have received for others is reprehensible. You should feel ashamed every time you walk into your church and pat yourself on the back as you preen about your pious, hypocritical Christianity. Every time you revel in your privilege while you blindly and purposefully denigrate those who do not share in it. Every time you recoil in fake horror at the mention of the Holocaust. Because I see you. I know what you would have done as my family was dragged to the death camps and gassed. I know what you would have done as Emmitt Till was dragged to a tree and hanged. You would have checked your bank account, given a happy and relieved little smile, and done absolutely nothing.

I'm not ashamed to pray that you get your comeuppance. I am not as big a person as I'd like to be, or at least as some people may think I should be. I am a Jewish woman. I know how to carry a grudge. And believe me, I will carry this one for a very, very long time.

Four years ago, you voted in the hopes that he would dismantle our democracy in the name of white supremacy. This year, you voted with the knowledge that he did, and with the obvious hope that he would finish the job.

I hope that your pretend belief in a vengeful god will bite you in the ass. That all the times you thought to violate or refuse to acknowledge the humanity of your fellow people will result in your journey to the hell you believe in. That choosing not to feed the hungry, heal the sick, free the captives, love the stranger leaves you alone and bitter. Yes, I am that vengeful and vindictive. Today.

I hope that you find yourself living with the fear of losing your rights. No, not letting others have the same rights, but actually losing yours. I hope you know what it is to not have autonomy over decisions about your own body. To fear every encounter with law enforcement. To be told that people of your entire faith should be put down like dogs. To know that there are others who fight every day for your voice and your vote to be suppressed. Yes, I am that petty. Today.

For while I am vengeful, vindictive, and petty today, you sadly live a life that glorifies pettiness, vindictiveness, and vengeance every day.

And yes, I am indeed talking about those of you who out and proud fly the flag of hate above the flag of country on your cars and your homes. But more specifically, I am talking about the insidious quiet ones who preach love in their church and practice hate out of it. Those who pretend conciliation but get in the privacy of the voting booth and do just the opposite.

Because that shows me that you know that what you are doing is wrong. And that is why I will never forgive you.

George Floyd and the white policing of protest

Like the rest of decent humanity, I was once again shamed, horrified, and offended by the murder of yet another Black man at the hands of white police. A police officer who literally kneeled on an already handcuffed and compliant George Floyd's neck while he cried that he couldn't breathe. He kneeled there with his hands casually in his pocket for NINE minutes. The last 3 of which were silent because George Floyd was already dead. Three other officers stood by and either did nothing, or actively held a protesting crowd back from the scene.

Cooped up, at high-risk for coronavirus, I feel helpless. I can't attend any protests, although I admire and pray for those who are. They not only risk their lives in confronting police brutality, but also in potentially contracting coronavirus. In my desire to participate, I've found myself amplifying Black voices on twitter and fending off all the Karens fretting about the lack of civility in protesting on Facebook. And that is what I want to talk about today. Protests.

Here is the scene at the Michigan state house 2 weeks ago. Armed white men stormed the capitol and were met by police in facemasks. No riot gear. No arrests. No shooting rubber bullets or pepper bullets or REAL bullets at the protesters. Because we completely allow and love white protest. Even when it's just about wanting to eat at the local Cracker Barrel and get your beehive hairstyle redone.

Protest moves inside Michigan Capitol. Crowd attempts to get onto Hoise floor. Lots of Michigan State Police and House sergeants at arms blocking door. pic.twitter.com/4FNQpimP4W

— Rod Meloni (@RodMeloni) April 30, 2020

But we just don't allow Black or economically disadvantaged or anyone who is not white to protest. No form of Black protest is acceptable to white America. Colin Kaepernick silently took a knee. Unacceptable. Tommie Smith and John Carlos silently raised their fists. Unacceptable. John Lewis and MLK marched peacefully across the Edmund Pettus Bridge. Unacceptable.

We tell Black people they should peacefully protest, but when they do, we tell them that's not an appropriate way to protest. We tell them kneeling isn't an appropriate way to protest. We tell them raising their fists in solidarity isn't an appropriate way to protest. We tell them marching isn't an appropriate way to protest. We tell them silence isn't an appropriate way to protest. We tell them shouting isn't an appropriate way to protest. We tell them violence isn't an appropriate way to protest.

There is literally no way for Black and other POC to protest that white people and society deem acceptable.

That the riots in most cities were started by white people - in many cases, suspected white nationalists aimed at provoking police into killing Black protesters - has not escaped my notice. Though it seems to have conveniently escaped Bill Barr's.

No meaningful and lasting social change in the history of humanity has ever come from peaceful protest. Name one. I'll wait.

*taps toe*
*crickets*

How do you think our country was founded? The destruction of saleable goods was at the heart of the tea party protest. The goddamn Revolutionary War was a violent protest that was met with violence from the establishment.

You're either dumb or dishonest if you don't think we like violent protest here in America. What we don't like is violent protest by people of color.

We need to SIT DOWN and LISTEN when Black and other POC tell us their experiences. And we need to believe them. Because not believing them means we just don't care about their experiences. And not caring about their experiences means we do nothing to change those experiences. And that is what causes them to protest.

“If you, as a White person, would be happy to receive the same treatment that our Black citizens do in this society, please stand.” pic.twitter.com/dFN6frQnZn

— Be A King (@BerniceKing) May 30, 2020

And can we white people make a pact? We don't get to pull MLK out of our asses every time we either want Black people to do as we say (stop violently protesting!) or when we want to appear to be an ally (MLK day). Also, we don't get to whitesplain to MLK's children what their father stood for. That is all.

It is incumbent on white people to fix this racist system we created. Blacks and other POC did not create the system. It is not up to them to fix it.

I think it's not incumbent upon POC to fix this. Even if that POC is a former president. That's what I think. https://t.co/bbRs8IrYzj

— (((Lori))) (@mctclover) May 30, 2020

Black people are telling us our institutionally racist system is killing them and we don't listen and we don't care. They've been asking nicely for 500 years for us to stop killing them. I'm not Black, but I have empathy and a conscience. And I will not sit idly by if I have the chance to speak out.

Sitting idly by is tacit approval and participation. Silence is complicity.

History will document this, just as it did the civil rights movement. Just as it did the Holocaust. I don't want history to show I did nothing. So I fully support the protesters in their cause and in their right to protest in whatever way will make them heard.

A reminder:

Suspected forgery is not punishable by death.
Sleeping in your own bed is not punishable by death

Jogging is not punishable by death.
Wearing a hoodie is not punishable by death
Playing loud music in your car is not punishable by death.
Rolling through a stop sign is not punishable by death.
Selling cigarettes (legal or otherwise) is not punishable by death.
Walking on the street in your (or any) neighborhood is not punishable by death.
Asking for someone to leash their dog is not punishable by death (although Central Park Karen sure thought it should be and did her damn best)

George Floyd was silently and brutally murdered. His life matters. Black lives matter.

Photo via Offices of Ben Crump Law
by way of NYT

image: @GracieLeeArt

Being Black is not punishable by death.