It's really not Santorum's fault. Really.

Poor misunderstood Rick Santorum. He knows that the woes in this country are really the fault of all the single mothers out there. If only they would stop getting help from the government (like they ALL do!) and if only they would stop voting, or at least find a man to boss them around fix their lives for them, all of our lives would be that much better. Why, oh, why can't the rest of us understand that?

"Look at the political base of the Democratic Party: it is single mothers who run a household. Why? Because it's so tough economically that they look to the government for help and therefore they’re going to vote. So if you want to reduce the Democratic advantage, what you want to do is build two parent families, you eliminate that desire for government."

Like Rick says, a two parent family should be encouraged and nurtured by government and leaders. Hmm... maybe we should make it illegal to divorce your wife while she's recovering from a horrible car accident. Or while she's dying of cancer in the hospital. Or when she's diagnosed with a chronic illness. Unless you're doing it for America.

Oh, wait maybe it's not the women's fault. Maybe it's the gay's fault. I know, he's such a devoted American. And gays are the biggest problem - but he can fix it. Just like a modern day Abraham Lincoln. Phew. We've been waiting for Lincoln to fix our gay problem.

"I have been a long-time advocate for states' rights. However, I believe as Abraham Lincoln did — that states don't have the rights to legalize moral wrongs."

And if that weren't enough for poor Rick to handle, those meanies over at Saturday Night Live are making fun of him!! And bullying him! *GASP*



See?!




Here are some words of advice for Santorum.

If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. Or grow a thicker skin. Or whatever 'suck it up, pull up your big boy undies and act like a man' analogy you want to make.

Presidents are mocked on every late night show before, during, and after their presidency. If you're going to whine like a little baby every time someone makes fun of you, then perhaps this isn't the job for you.

(Oh, are you listening Rick & Anita Perry? Perhaps this isn't the job for you, either.)