In which I singlehandedly solve the Texas budget deficit

via Obsidian Wings

'tha fuck, Texas?

I have figured out how you deal with a budget crisis. On my recent business trip to you, I visited your fair cities of Plano and Austin. You managed in that time frame to bilk me out of $250. Not bad for 4 days work. Just imagine if you did that to every visitor to Texas, how soon you could magically turn a deficit into a surplus!

It appears that you have made a practice out of charging customers without telling them you are doing so. In the 4 days I was in Texas, here's what I got charged for:

I prepaid for my car rental in Dallas. In an attempt to save my company money (never again, BTW), I rented from Advantage Rent-A-Car instead of my usual Hertz. My charge for picking up a car Sunday night at 11 pm and returning it on Tuesday at 2 pm was $56 including all taxes and charges. Excellent, no?

Until I got to the rental counter. Where Advantage proceeded to charge me $200 to drive my PREPAID car off the lot. They claim they refund the money when you return the car. They refused to give me a receipt for said $200 when I paid it and when I returned the car. There was no notice on the rental agreement I printed off the internet when I booked and paid for my car that I'd be charged an extra $200. Like that's going to cover the cost of the car if I don't return it? 'Tha fuck, Texas? I've never been charged up front for a deposit from a rental agency before. Ever. And I've rented a lot of cars in a lot of states in my day. Why the hell did I even use them then? Well, I would have walked away from my $50 and gone to the Hertz counter, but my flight was delayed and I didn't arrive at the rental counter until midnight (about 5 minutes before they were closing). I was exhausted from a long day of travel, it was midnight, for chrissakes, and the Hertz counter was closing. It was hard to walk away from a waiting car at midnight. Next time? I'd walk to my hotel before renting from Advantage.  Advantage obviously stands for "take advantage". Do NOT use them. Ever.

From Dallas, I hopped on a plane to Austin. Where I checked into the very lovely Embassy Suites there. And gave them my credit card for incidental charges (the room was already paid for by my company). Where they proceeded to charge my card $50 without telling me as a guarantee against any charges. IO discovered this on the way home from the airport when I checked my balance. So I called them this morning to say 'tha fuck? And just like Advantage, I was promised that since it was only a "deposit", the charges would be reversed. Once again, I have no receipt for these charges, and wasn't told they would be making them. I've stayed at Embassy Suites many times in many different states and never been charged up front a deposit for incidentals. 'tha fuck, Texas?

WRONG WRONG WRONG.

Also, Texas, you brag about having no state income tax. That is lovely. However, I was speaking to my colleague there who said yes, it's true, but her property taxes on her house (equivalent to mine in size and value) are $30,000 annually.

'tha FUCK?

Yes, $30,000. Mine are approximately $4,600. Now granted, I live in California where we are still 'protected' under Prop 13. But still - holy guacamole, $30k is a lot of money! I think I'd rather settle for a couple hundred less per paycheck and pay state income taxes than have a whopper like that due in one fell swoop. Either way, the state manages to screw its citizens. So quit bragging on how awesome you are because Texans don't pay income tax.

So now that I have single-handedly solved the budget crisis in Texas... how was your week?